"Hey, where'd you get the hat?" I asked.

Bob slid into the seat across from me and picked up a menu. "Some guy in the street is handing them out. Do you like it?"

The hat was a normal looking baseball hat. On the front, over the brim, was a tall blue pyramid.

"It's OK," I said. "What's the pyramid mean?"

"Beats me," said Bob. "I think it's just supposed to look cool."

"But it must mean something," I insisted. "Why else would they be giving them out free? It must be an ad for something." I leaned against the wall and peered out the window. "Where's the guy who's giving them out?"

Bob looked over his shoulder. "A block up the street. Wanna go get one?"

Just then, the waitress showed up. "Maybe after we eat," I said to Bob. Then I ordered a turkey sandwich, and Bob asked for a burger. While the waitress was writing it down, I noticed 2 other people come in wearing pyramid hats. Then I looked over my shoulder and saw 3 or 4 other people in the diner who were wearing the hats.

"The hats are pretty popular," I said.

"Yes," said Bob. "The guy had boxes and boxes of them. You really should go get one."

"Why?" I asked, somewhat suspiciously.

"Because everyone should have a hat," Bob said.

I looked at Bob. He was sitting up very straight, almost stiff, and was looking at me with wide, intense eyes. "Are you OK?" I asked. "You're acting kind of strange. Did you hurt your back or something? And quit starring at me, you're giving me the creeps."

"I think you need to go get a hat," he replied, almost menacingly.

I looked around the diner again and realized that I was the only person there without a pyramid hat. Then I looked out the window and saw that everyone in the street wore a pyramid hat.

And at that moment, the waitress returned. She too was wearing one of the hats, and on her tray she carried, not our food, but a solitary pyramid hat. For me.

I jumped up and ran for the door, but Bob and 2 other people grabbed me and held me down as the waitress approached with the hat.

I screamed "NO!" as they forced it onto my head, and then...

...I felt fine. It's a nice, comfy hat. I like it.

Say, why aren't you wearing a hat? Everyone should have a hat.

Copyright © 1997 by Looney Laboratories

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