John: With this ring, I thee wed.

Gina: With this ring, I wed thee.

John: [places a ring on Gina’s finger] And, uh, with this ring... This ring symbolizes my commitment to gratify your every desire, to stay with you through thick and thin regardless of the misery I put you through, and to anticipate your every need and whim with the aid of the psychic gifts you obviously expect me to have.

Gina: [places a ring on John's finger] This ring symbolizes my promise to always be here for you whenever you need me. And I promise to do my best not to make your life a living hell, as happens so often when two perfectly happy people decide to ruin everything by getting married.

John: This ring symbolizes the endless embarrassing stories about this wedding that Leo Prahinski will tell for many years to come.

Gina: This ring symbolizes That Thing You Do. [Gazes lovingly into John’s eyes.] It’s a really good movie.

John: This ring symbolizes a ring. Not a very good metaphor, but it’ll do for now.

Gina: This ring symbolizes a tunnel, and your finger is the choo-choo.

John: This ring symbolizes green eyeballs.

Gina: THIS ring does too!

[and so on]

John: ...And this ring represents a Tocomak generator, which contrary to what Chris Welsh believes, is not baseball shaped.

 [Dave’s Cue is the word "baseball". He will forget to interrupt Gina.]

 Dave: All right! That will be quite enough!