Haiku Movie Reviews By Ginohn

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Movies reviewed in 2007

:( Disliked it.
:| Okay.
:) Liked it.
%} Loved it!
BRIDGE TO TARABITHIA  :)
No huge effects, but
it's best such things are left to 
Imagination.
SHORTBUS  :)
For an x-rated
yet non-pornographic film,
it's pretty kinky.
FLIRTING  :)
With all the caning,
loneliness, fights and insults,
I'd call it "Hurting."
SICKO  %}
The strongest critics
will simply ad hominem
and refuse treatment.
EVENING  :)
"There are no mistakes,"
they say, but try telling that
to those who make them.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM  :|
Sure, it's a kids' film,
but even children expect
films to make some sense.
SHUT UP AND SING  :)
We don't want this war,
this violence... we’re ashamed that
Bush is from Texas.
WAITRESS  :|
The sweet filling was
nice at first, but before long
I had too much pie.
KNOCKED UP  :)
An instructional guide
for couples planning to have
unplanned pregnancies.
DEMOLITION MAN  :(
Maybe we're taking
apocalypse comedy
too seriously.
WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?  :)
A multiple choice
question. The answer is G:
"all of the above."
AVENUE MONTAIGNE  :)
And here, all this time,
I was lead to believe that
Parisians aren't nice.
THE LIVES OF OTHERS  :)
1984.
It really happened, but worse—
could happen again.
NACHO LIBRE  :|
At least the wrestling
was better than that World Wide
Federation stuff.
THE PILLOW BOOK  :)
I think I've become
a calligraphiliac.
Help me, someone, please.
HOT FUZZ  :)
A cop spoof/tribute
that's better than most of its
intended targets.
STRANGER THAN FICTION  :)
Who will save Harold Crick
from death, and Ana Pascal
from taxes? Just watch!
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON  %}
The alpha wolf of
tragicomedy horrors.
Amazing dream scenes!
SCENT OF A WOMAN  :)
A feel-good movie
for that dirty old blind man
inside all of us.
PERFORMANCE  %}
A brutal, tender,
weird, prophetic fantasy
for our modern world.
TENACIOUS D IN 'THE PICK OF DESTINY'  :)
A collapsed prequel
to the greatest rock story
ever told, bar none.
JACKASS 2  :|
It seems Jackass One
didn't feature quite enough
damaged private parts.
THE U.S. VS. JOHN LENNON :)
This film's style is too
"VH-1 behind the scenes"
for such a great man.
THE NUMBER 23 :)
Eerily follows
the director's obsession
with a blue filter.
THE PAINTED VEIL :)
Boy loves girl, girl hates
parents, marries boy, and cheats.
Boy loves cholera.
MCLIBEL :)
The longest libel
suit in British history.
And we won! (Sort of)
IDIOCRACY  :)
Idiots can make
a time machine, monster trucks,
and electrolytes!
THE MUPPETS' WIZARD OF OZ  :)
It wasn't a dream -
Toto the pet prawn, the rats,
the scarefrog, Kansas...
NOTES ON A SCANDAL  :)
A fairly normal
everyday kind of scandal,
as these dramas go.
PAN'S LABYRINTH  :|
Artistic genius
is sometimes overwhelmed by
gross stupidity.
THE OPPOSITE OF SEX  :)
Quirky narration
by a most [un]likable
[pro]antagonist.
THE GREAT WHITE  :)
Kind of like Fargo,
but slightly less disgusting
and much more kooky.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD  :)
One man's history
of spies. (Or so the Russians
would have us believe.)
CHILDREN OF MEN  :)
A dark metaphor
of the apocalypse called
human existence.
BEERFEST  :)
Tastes great, less killing -
Broken Lizard's redemption
from the Club Dread flop.
CECIL B DEMENTED  :|
Ironically,
if Hollywood made this film
it would be funny.
THE GOOD GERMAN  :)
If by "good" you mean
"good at building large rockets,"
we have enough, thanks.

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