| Movies reviewed in 2006 |
| :( Disliked it. |
| :| Okay. |
| :) Liked it. |
| %} Loved it! |
|
DEJA
VU :)
Had a strange feeling
I'd seen this thriller before,
or something like it.
|
THE
ESCAPE ARTIST %}
See Desi Arnaz
(his last film) as a bad guy.
The magic is real!
|
THE
PRESTIGE :)
That self-locking, fake
padlock really annoyed me.
But Tesla was cool.
|
THE
QUIET EARTH %}
The last man on Earth
sat alone in a city.
He wore a nice slip.
|
THE
DAVINCI CODE :|
A scavenger hunt
based on the crazy notion
that some dude had sex.
|
BABETTE'S
FEAST :|
Slightly tastier
than Babette's long-term, low-yield
municipal bonds.
|
HAPPY
ENDINGS :|
The director, like
the director in the film,
seems to try too hard.
|
DARK STAR %}
How does one convince
an intelligent, talking
bomb not to blow up?
|
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE %}
Alex takes a joy ride
through our bright dreamy future
of ultraviolence.
|
TANK GIRL :)
Hey! Thirsting for some
post-apocalyptic punk?
Go steal a tank, girl!
|
KISS THE SKY :|
An intimate look
at mid-life crises, Buddhists
and misogyny.
|
BORAT:
CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA
FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN %}
Welcome to this the
haiku review! I like you!
Please to see movie.
|
THE ILLUSIONIST :)
The story behind
the magical invention
of the Holodeck.
|
KINGDOM
OF HEAVEN :)
Sure, it's way too long,
and it's built on lies, but hey,
so were the Crusades.
|
SAINT
ELMO'S FIRE :|
The '80s, Georgetown:
Everyone wore perfect clothes.
Even the homeless.
|
CRASH
:)
It's white vans versus
black Lincoln Navigators
in a mixed up race!
|
3-IRON
:)
A foreign drama
that barely needs subtitles.
Postmodern kung fu.
|
SNAKES
ON A PLANE :(
This could make a good
video game, or card game.
But the movie bites.
|
THE
THREE BURIALS OF MELQIADES ESTRADA :)
I dig a deep plot,
but four burials would have
gone on way too long.
|
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE %}
A loser's manual:
Nine steps to win by losing.
Lots of examples!
|
LESS
THAN ZERO :|
The anti cocaine
message was totally lost
on Robert Downey.
|
PAYCHECK :|
A nice sci-fi tale
is ruined by explosions,
fights, and chase scenes.
|
NIGHT
OF THE DEMON :)
Dana Andrews said
prunes gave him the runes... passing
them used lots of skills.
|
CLERKS II
:)
Favorite saga...
Star Wars? Lord of the Rings? Hmmm.
Jay and Silent Bob!
|
MICROCOSMOS
:)
Kids! Make a great film
just by throwing grasshoppers
into spider webs!
|
THE
CHUMSCRUBBER
:)
Title, town, and tale,
all emerging from a failed
video game scheme.
|
RAY
:)
Too bad Ray Charles died
before he could see his own...
Never mind. Bad joke.
|
SECONDHAND
LIONS
:)
Some secondhand lines
with some first rate actors makes
a decent kid's film.
|
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD
MAN'S CHEST
:)
Without Johnny Depp,
only a severed undead
heart could save this film.
|
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH %}
Walk or bike to your
nearest wind-powered theater
to see this fine film!
|
THE SHAWSHANK
REDEMPTION %}
The much more stunning,
better and believable
prequel to "Green Mile."
|
THE LAKE
HOUSE :|
Keanu Reeves goes
two years back in time to prove
he can act. He fails.
|
DETROIT ROCK CITY :)
Four friends go searching
for a heart, some brains, courage,
and a little Kiss.
|
DODGEBALL :)
If you 're looking for
a good comedy about
dodgeball, here it is!
|
I ROBOT :|
A film may not harm
a book unless the author
is not in control
|
WALLACE AND GROMIT IN THE CURSE OF
THE WERE-RABBIT :|
I don't know, maybe
we should bring back that burgling
flightless waterfowl.
|
ENRON: THE SMARTEST GUYS IN THE ROOM
:)
Let's see what happens
when we fire all the traders
who won't steal power.
|
PLEASANTVILLE %}
Does father know best?
A classic analogy
of "the good old days"
|
PUMP UP THE VOLUME :)
Before internet
and corporate takeovers,
there was radio.
|
ENEMY MINE %}
The message of hope,
that "this war, like all wars, ends,"
has lingered for years.
|
BUTTERFLY :)
Because she cocooned
two years in a tree, the tree
might last two thousand.
|
THANK YOU FOR SMOKING :)
Yes, even if you help
mass murderers, remember,
be true to yourself.
|
AMERICAN DREAMZ :)
Cute glitzy satire
that's almost too cynical,
even for itself.
|
MAGNOLIA :)
Poignant and bizarre--
a loosely woven pastiche
of urban legends.
|
SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
:(
Even the children
for whom this movie was made
must know that it's crap.
|
PRIMER %}
Watch this movie twice--
the plot might change completely
or destroy itself.
|
MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND
FABULOUS :|
A congenial
plot, armed with slapstick, but
not so fabulous.
|
V FOR
VENDETTA %}
Violently
vents
voracious veracities
of venge and revenge.
|
BUBBLE BOY :)
The chronicles of
Donnie Darko's early years,
pre- Brokeback Mountain.
|
THE GOD WHO
WASN'T THERE :)
One man's history
(short, bitter, and to the point)
of not finding God.
|
THUMBSUCKER
:)
Breaks the world record
for the longest indie film
about thumb sucking.
|
KUNG FU
HUSTLE %}
Now I realize
what movie Tarantino
was trying to make.
|
PI: FAITH
IN CHAOS :(
I tried to see some
pattern, but I couldn't make
sense of the movie.
|
BRIDGET
JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON :|
The edge of reason
is that a top grossing film
needs a sequel, right?
|
BROKEBACK
MOUNTAIN %}
Possibly the best
modern romantic western
since, well, anything.
|
THE MATADOR :)
Killing can be fun,
as long as you can dispose
of all that guilt stuff.
|
FAMILY GUY
PRESENTS
STEWIE GRIFFIN: THE UNTOLD STORY :)
A lengthy title
for a lengthy episode,
but lengthy laughs, too.
|
FANTASTIC
FOUR :(
How lucky for us
that The Incredibles stole
their superpowers.
|
KING KONG [2006] :)
Naomi Watts learns
(first hand) of Shaken-Baby-
Patty-Hearst Syndrome.
|
THE RINGER :|
A genius concept,
but the execution is
really retarded.
|
SYRIANA :|
Scenes have been censored
on a need-to-know basis.
You don't need to know.
|