Haiku Movie Reviews By Ginohn

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Movies reviewed in 2001
:( Didn't like it. :| Okay.
:) Liked it. %} Loved it!
MONSTERS INC.  :)
A cute, short story
of the universe next door,
for kids or monsters.
LIFE AS A HOUSE  :)
Man, Kevin Kline's pills
are amazing! They even 
make piercings heal up.
GUMMO  :)
Poignant, repugnant,
horrible everyday life
in a white trash world.
THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE  :)
The antithesis
of Sam Spade is a barber
who doesn't say much.
HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE  :)
Who'll win the most points,
Slitherin or Gryffindor?
I really don't care.
MULHOLLAND DR.  %}
An elaborate
puzzle, too puzzling for some,
but worth unlocking.
JOE DIRT  :)
It was easy to 
forget Joe was David Spade.
Could be the weird hair.
K-PAX  :)
On K-Pax, our films 
put the audience into
delusional states.
JUST VISITING  :)
It's just pretending 
to be The Visitors, but
made for Hollywood.
ZOOLANDER  :|
Stiller's character 
is, sadly, as good looking
as he is funny.
GREENFINGERS  :)
Cute, enjoyable film 
about cute, enjoyable 
murderer inmates.
LIFE OF BRIAN   %}
The story of a man, 
laughed at by us and cursed by
fundamentalists.
SAVING SILVERMAN  :|
Silverman's friends can't
save him from the sequel to
American Pie.
THE MUSKETEER  :(
Mix Kung Fu swordplay,
Old Westerns, and French novels.
Could it be good? No!
THE RUTLES: ALL YOU NEED IS CASH  %}
Terrific in-joke
for fans of the post fab four.
Splendidly thorough.
THE BIG BLUE (DIRECTOR'S CUT) :|
Strange, "director's cut" 
seems to mean "director's stretch" 
in more ways than one.
JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK  :)
Not so much a film
as a checklist of fun things 
to do while filming.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL  %}
There's a reason why
this is the most quoted film
since Steamboat Willie.
NURSE BETTY  :)
Surprisingly dark,
with doses of innocence 
and comic relief.
BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER  :)
Predictable and
plastic, just how homophobes
want us all to live.
DANCER IN THE DARK  %}
Painful musical --
a great tragedy that I 
wish I hadn't seen.
PLANET OF THE APES  (2001)  :|
Like Batman -- great sets,
bad plots, and promised sequels.
Damn them all to Hell!
HOW TO GET AHEAD IN ADVERTISING  :)
Valuable insights
into the mental disease 
known as "marketing."
A. I.: ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE  :|
lost intelligence
and got more artificial
as it went along. 
MEET THE PARENTS  :|
Without good actors
this would just be more slapstick.
It could really suck.
THE DISH  :)
Historically-based
films always make me wonder 
what really happened.
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY  %}
Great special effects,
without help from computers!
(Except HAL, of course.)
TAMPOPO  %}
Fistful of Ramen?
The Magnificent Kitchen?
Spaghetti Eastern!
MOULIN ROUGE!  %}
Artists dupe a duke
to throw a show about lies,
lust, absinthe, and dough.
BUFFALO '66  :)
It hurt to watch this --
everyone in the film was
completely insane.
SHREK  :)
It's okay to be
ugly, but short people got
no reason to live.
SET ME FREE (EMPORTE-MOI)  :)
Few films show how life
can be both sad and lovely.
They're all French, of course.
A KNIGHT'S TALE  :)
The guy's really hot!
This film's formulaic but
it has great jousting .
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  :)
Figures, that the first
successful human clone was 
McCauley Culkin.
FREDDY GOT FINGERED  :)
Pretty sick humor, 
but what was really shocking -
Tom Green can skateboard!
MEMENTO  %}
Carefully designed 
to make you forget what you 
just saw. A good scam!
DUCK SOUP  %}
A fine collection 
of skits destined to inspire 
the great Bugs Bunny.
BLOW  :)
If at first smuggling
doesn't pay, try try again.
Or -- blame your parents.
TOMCATS  :|
Wins the Oscar for
best "destruction of cello
with plaster porpoise"
RAPA NUI  :)
Crazy, chopping down
all the trees to move stone heads...
Ooh, look! A new car!
SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE  :|
I think the vampire 
broke free from the film and killed
the editing staff.
GALLIPOLI  %}
A good prescription 
for those who consider war
to be romantic.
ERIN BROCKOVICH  :)
Julia Roberts
IS Erin Brockovich IN
Erin Brockovich!
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON  %}
I never thought that 
someday, somebody might make
a good kung fu film.
O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?  %}
The Coen brothers
bring Ulysses to the South.
This film's bona fide!
HANNIBAL  :(
Must be difficult
to make a gory movie
so very boring.
SNATCH  :)
It'strimly vallent,
eenfar pikers, bet, natbed 
iffecken tacket.
PRACTICAL MAGIC  :)
Can't say anything
negative, because a witch
loaned us the movie.
CHOCOLAT  :)
A child's fairy tale
designed for chocoholics
and cathoholics.
MISS CONGENIALITY  :)
How long do we have 
to pretend Sandra Bullock
is unattractive?
A HARD DAY'S NIGHT   %}
Beatlemania
as a form of happiness
will never grow old.
BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE :)
Better than real life -
the people in this movie
fall in love too fast.

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