Movies
reviewed in 1998
| :(
Didn't like it. |
:|
Okay. |
| :)
Liked it. |
%}
Loved it! |
|
:( STAR
TREK INSURRECTION
I'm glad I saw this
movie. There was a preview
for Austin Powers! |
%} 12
MONKEYS
Philadelphia,
Brazil. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll
kiss the world goodbye. |
:) ANTZ
Of course, technically,
Z is female, and Bala
is her sister. Hmmm... |
:)THE
SLUMS OF BEVERLY HILLS
The best vibrator
scenes that I've ever witnessed
in any movie. |
:| THE
X FILES FIGHT THE FUTURE
Alien virus?
Global conspiracy? No --
an advertisement. |
%} DARK
CITY
I saw wires holding
John Murdoch up when he jumped.
Hard to forgive this. |
%}
PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE
Somebody should give
Jessica Harper many,
many dance lessons. |
%} BLADE
RUNNER (FIRST RELEASE)
NeoFrankenstein!
Who is the protagonist?
Who's a replicant? |
%} BLADE
RUNNER (DIRECTOR'S CUT)
The protagonist
is Roy Batty, and Deckard
is a replicant. |
:) EVER
AFTER
stole the laundry scene
from 1973's
The Three Musketeers. |
:| WHAT
DREAMS MAY COME
Who would want to spend
Afterlife in a psych ward?
Too boring, let's leave. |
:)AS
GOOD AS IT GETS
We hyped the big stars
but in the end it was just...
as good as it got. |
:( LETHAL
WEAPON 4
Mel Gibson gets to
drive a Tonka Toy again.
Who would've guessed it? |
:( ARMAGEDDON
Sound travels through space
and there is hardly any
microgravity. |
*-} FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS
An overdose of &^$&#!@
(more violence than the book)
americana. |
%} THE
TRUMAN SHOW
The world now sees
that Truman is a true man
and Carrey can act. |
%} STAR WARS A NEW HOPE
Science-fantasy --
knights, battles, and a princess!
A real tour de Force! |
%} STAR
WARS THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
When Yoda was young,
before he lost all his hair,
He was called Fozzie. |
:) STAR
WARS REVENGE RETURN OF THE JEDI
The real title was
"Honey, I Shrunk the Wookies."
Jeez, what a bummer. |
:| DEEP
IMPACT
The people who hid
underground should probably
stay there a few years. |
:| THE
LION KING
Remember Kimba
from TV? -- I used to watch
that after school. |
:)
GODZILLA 2001
A big comic romp,
though I didn't need to see
Jurassic Park Three |
:o SCREAM
If someone killed mom
I'd bar the doors and windows
and get a big dog. |
%} AKIRA
Teens, motorcycles,
psionics! And the actors
performed their own stunts! |
:) E.T.
performed miracles,
was killed by feds, rose again
... sound familiar? |
:)
STARSHIP TROOPERS
How many insects
does it take to suck your brains?
90210 |
:) TITANIC
La Coeur de la Mer --
a diamond, a ship, amore,
a three hour tour. |
%} THE
MADNESS OF KING GEORGE
This magnificent
movie gives new meaning to
"the royal wee." |