Haiku Movie Reviews  By Ginohn

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Movies reviewed in 1997
:( Didn't like it. :| Okay.
:) Liked it. %} Loved it!
:( BEAN
Instead of L.A.
Mr. Bean should have stayed home 
and watched his old shows.
:) THE FULL MONTY
How come we never
got to see the full monty?!
I paid good money...
%} THAT THING YOU DO
Fantastic soundtrack! 
Pre-natal nostalgia! 
Wondermania! 
%} FORREST GUMP
Mama always said,
"Stupid is as Stupid does."
Stupid rakes it in.
:) JURASSIC PARK
During the making 
of this film no dinosaurs 
were injured or killed.
:( THE LOST WORLD - JURASSIC PARK II
During the making 
of this film no dinosaurs 
were injured or killed.
:) THE FIFTH ELEMENT
Lovely aliens 
but the plot reminds me of 
Warriors of Virtue.
:( TWISTER
A cow calmly moos 
and slowly floats by, upright,
amid Pepsi ads.
%} AUSTIN POWERS
It's Groovy Baby! 
If only the 90's had
really been like that.
%} TRAINSPOTTING
The first movie that 
ever made me want to try 
to swim in the loo.
:( HIGH SCHOOL HIGH
There was no scene where 
Jon Lovitts had hair like in 
the movie poster.
:( BATMAN AND ROBIN
Want to gloss over 
awful choreography? 
Use lots of close-ups!

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modified 6/8/99