we love lamp, too
G: On Friday I got up early - so
early I didn't really go to sleep. I've been awake until 4am most
nights lately, and I went to bed earlier, but couldn't sleep so once it
got past
four I gave up and only slightly dozed until I had to get up at 5am for
a shower.
Then I took Lori to Rockville for surgery to correct a deviated septum
and turbinate reduction. This is supposed to open up her nasal passages
so that her CPAP machine can force air into her more effectively so she
doesn't have apnea and can get a good night's sleep and then actually
be awake during the day. I slept in the car while waiting for her.
That night, I looked up her nose, and it was way bigger than Stacy's or
Rich's. In
fact, it gets down to almost a slit in their noses. Yes, we were
all looking up each other's noses. It was great. Stacy brought a pile
of movies over and we watched a couple on Friday night. Rich came over
for the second one. Since John didn't watch them (so probably no haiku
reviews): the first one (The Shipping News) was good, the second (The
Ice Storm) I didn't care for much.
Got up late the next morning, went for a mushroom gathering walk in the
woods with John, then we went to Merriweather a bit
(too) early to get good lawn spots for Jon Stewart. We were among the
first at the gates, sitting in our lawn chairs and waiting an hour for
the gates to open. The line built up fat and long behind us. Meanwhile,
some
goofy guy and a camera crew came out to interview people - turned out
it is to make into entertaining bits to show on the big screens while
you are waiting for the show to start. They interviewed me. The
interviewer (Dixie, I found out later, watching previously taped
interviews with the waiting crowds) asked me if I would vote for Jon
Stewart for President. I said, "Yes, absolutely." He asked, "Over
Hillary?" I said, "Yes." Somewhere in there I said, "I love Jon." He
said, "I love lamp." I looked quizzically at the guy holding the camera
and said, "What is he talking about?" Dixie said, "It's from a movie."
I said, "I love cake. That's from a TV show." He said, "I love you.
This could go on all night. If it's OK with you (referring to John)."
etc etc. Anyway, let me know if you see me on the big screen at
Merriweather next time you are there.
Oh, yeah, so we got our spots very near the front of the lawn, which is
still so far away they shouldn't charge money for it. We waited there
another hour and 1/2 and John drank a cheap beer that cost a lot. The
opening guy was really good, Mark Billabongidoo or something like that.
And Jon was good, but I felt some of the material was recycled from the
Daily Show, and I haven't even seen that much of the Daily Show (okay,
sometimes I spend hours watching clips, but, anyway). And it was weird
how he would shift from hard political material to stuff like a story
about his dog eating trash, having explosive diarreah, eating that,
puking it up, eating THAT, etc. and so on, with sound effects. That was
my favorite part, actually.
On Sunday we went to Brother Thom's house for a birthday party for Liam
who turned 7. We saw relatives, chatted, sat by the fire, ate, etc.
When we were the last ones there the children wanted to play with us.
Up to then we did not exist.
They liked the toy we bought, a pair of wind up giant beetles that you
can put on a log and they go at each other and one knocks the other off
and that bug gets points. Then you add up the points to see who the
biggest baddest bug in the world is.
Monday I got to see Weird Al's new video for "White and Nerdy." It is
hilarious and I've watched it a dozen times since then.
Check
it out!
Wednesday night (tonight) we finally cooked up a bunch of mushrooms in
an approximation of a lasagna. Blended veggies in tomato sauce layered
with cauliflower mushrooms as noodles, and a tofu / tahini mixture.
Lots of leftover puffball and oyster mushrooms got piled on top. It was
pretty good.
may i call you amazing?
J:
The following is a very funny email sent from my brother Karl to James
Randi. I should note that Randi is one of our heroes; Karl was hoping
he would post this email as a lighter item in his
weekly column. No such luck.
Dear The Amazing Randi,
I never write fan mail, and I'm not one of the
paparazzi (that's Latin) you're probably used to, but,
knowing you are about to embark on a "voyage" through
the Bermuda Triangle, I just thought you should be
aware of a contraption I recently invented: The Multi-Dimensional
Transport Device! (pat. pending)
This machine can whisk you between any two dimensions
(even the mysterious Third dimension), or from one bus
stop to another.
How does it work? Well, it utilizes various
physical properties that are not yet understood by
scientists (even famous ones!) and is composed of
these chemicals with really long names, like the ones
you can read in the morning on your cereal box. The
cool thing is, this device is GUARANTEED to work in
the Bermuda Triangle! And, as a bonus, it even works
in places that are not so triangular.
(I don't know if this qualifies me for the JREF
prize, but I'm not really interested in that. I
already have a pretty good paper route.)
Perhaps you are worried about bringing such a
device through customs... Don't Worry! See, the cool
thing is this device looks exactly (and I mean
EXACTLY!) like one of those mood rings from the 70's
(you know, the kind that changes your mood depending
on the color).
Right about now, you're probably wondering how
someone with NO formal training as a scientist came up
with this incredible idea. Well, I'm going to tell
you!
As you know, Newton invented gravity whilst eating
an apple, and that's kind of how I made this
discovery; I eat plenty of apples (keeps the doctors
away, lol!). Anyhow, I was eating these apples, and
that got me to thinking about gravity and Eden-- you
know, all that scientific stuff-- when BANG! , it just
popped into my head! At this point, you're probably
thinking that I shouted something like "Eureka!" or
"Watson, come quick!" like those other scientist guys.
The truth is, I said the "f" word, but don't tell my
Mom!
Look, The Amazing Randi, I don't know too much
about Bermuda, except they make those shorts, but the
Bermuda Triangle is like my specialty. I'm also kind
of an amateur artist, and I've composed several
pictures of the Bermuda Triangle that my mom posted
on the refrigerator--(MUCH easier to draw than a
circle). My friends and I like to call the Bermuda
Triangle "B.T." for short (you just take the first
letter of each word, get it?). But, even though we joke about it, it's
kind of serious. I mean, who
knows what could happen to you in the "B.T."? Of
course, even though it's pretty dangerous, something
cool COULD happen to you on your cruise--heck, you
might find all those things that have mysteriously
disappeared through the ages, like the City of
Atlantis, or maybe even Mister Brady's Plans! Whatever
happens though, I'll be sure to see the true story on
the Discovery Channel, and I just hope you get a
chance to use the Multi-Dimensional Transport Device,
or at least say you did.
Anywho [sic], just thought I'd give you a
heads-up on this amazing invention. Heck, I'm so
confident in its abilities that it's almost the only
product I try to sell. Believe me, this is not one of
those crackpot ideas like perpetual motion or
recycling. This is REAL!
Well, my mom just told me to turn off the
flashlight, so I'd better wrap this up. Have a good
trip and, even though I know he's real busy, I hope
you get a chance to meet Captain Stubing --he really
cracks me up!
Sincerely,
Karl Cooper
:-j
