COFFEE
BREAK
I love coffee. It is more than a drink, it is more
than a drug. It is an entity. When I partake of coffee, I don’t just drink
it -- I visit it. Coffee is an old friend. Sure, we’ve had our falling-outs
every now and then, but when the chips are down, coffee always comes through.
I tried staying away from my buddy, but it just turns me into a poor, sad
Neanderthal, who’s few remaining vague grasps at thought are nostalgic
flashes of the days I spent with my friend coffee. So anyhow, we’re back
together, coffee and I, until the heart
palpitations return, and I start sleeping with my eyes open again.
What is rumored is true -- I am a pretty darn good coffee maker.
Here are some tips for making a decent cup.
Use a coffee press - what some people call "French
press". This is a wonderful invention; essentially a glass beaker with
a plunger that has a screen on it. Put some grounds in the bottom, add
boiling water, put the plunger on, wait four minutes or so, then filter
out the grounds by pushing down on the plunger. How simple and pleasant
it feels to commune with your friend. With a coffee press, you get all
the good juices and oils out of the bean and into your cup. Yum. A nice
big, fatty cup-o-joe. That’s what we’re going for.
Use fresh whole beans - I don’t care if they’re
flavored, or decaf, or whatever. Just make sure that they smell real good,
and grind ‘em yourself, for sakes. Some folks who use the press suggest
to put the grinder on a coarse setting, so the coffee doesn’t have too
much sediment in it and so the press is easier to press. I prefer to grind
my beans really fine, because then I get a fine sediment. And before I
plunge, I shake the coffee press a little. All of the grounds that have
collected at the top of the coffee press then slowly sink to the bottom,
and pressing is easy after that.
Don’t skimp! A big 2-cup mug of coffee should have
about 3 heaping tablespoons of grounds. I can’t abide by the scared water
that some people call coffee. Such a waste…
Use fresh, clean water - I sometimes use distilled.
And make sure it’s boiling!
Wait for the taste - with a coffee press, the longer
you wait before you press, the more bitter your coffee will be. So remember
to time the steeping, and experiment for your own taste. Somewhere between
3 and 5 minutes is good for most people.
Use whole, unadulterated cream - if you use cream,
finding some that doesn’t contain contaminants such as BGH, antibiotics,
and chicken dung (no kidding, they feed all that weird stuff to cows. And
sheep brains. And fear.) might be difficult. But you want a good cup of
coffee, right? Sometimes I use ice cream. Don’t use milk unless there’s
no cream available. It’s a poor substitute for the real thing.
Sugar? Don't over-do it, you'll want to taste the
coffee too... Try fresh honey as a substitute.
Enjoy your java, and send any questions/comments/suggestions my way
if you have any…