Is There Toscanini's Ice Cream in Heaven?
Original flowchart by Steve Strassmann - converted to hypertext by John Cooper

What is Heaven like?  Now you can find out through the genius of Steve Strassmann's Is There Toscanini's Ice Cream in Heaven!  Using simple questions, Steve's map guides you through your personal concept of Heaven, leading you in a strictly logical fashion to the ultimate description of what Heaven will be like for you.

Take a meander through the hypertext tour of Tosci's in Heaven (best viewed with a browser that is up to Netscape 4 capabilities). If you want to cheat you can look at the BIG MAP (from a scan of the original!); have patience, it's a big gif file.

Some of you might not have ever heard of Toscanini's ice cream (I for one have never tasted it), which would make sense because is only sold in Boston.  If Toscanini's doesn't grab you, play CheezWiz with it -- mentally substitute something else that you really really like here in life: something you might want after you die.

Much thanks to Steve Strassmann for coming up with concise answers to one of the most important discussions in theology.

Comments welcome! (But not all shall be printed.)

From drhaney@ecf.mit.edu:

The original location is not uhzackuhlee in Boston, but
across the crick, er, Charles River, about 1 block off of
Cambridge's Central Square.  Not only can you get there
from here, you can pahk ya cah neahby.

It's only mild hyperbole to find Tosci's & Heaven in the same
sentence.  Toscanini's ice cream is often a "Holy Shit!!"
quality of experience.  I can't elaborate.  You gotta be there.
You gotta come back every other day for a couple weeks before
the Full Bardo First Awakening Satori grabs you by the palate
and lofts you into the 7th Chakra psychosphere.  Being rilly
rilly hungry helps, too.

Toscanini's second small outlet is in the MIT Student Center and
sells tankers of intense confections they call "Frappucino," a
coffee/ice cream excuse for sugar&caffeine overdose.  Given MIT's
traditions and patron saints ("Our Lady Of The All Night Tool"),
the substance and dosimetry are appropriate.

Rancatore is Tosci's Brother and has a smaller yet more modern
ice-a cream-a shop a couple miles west in Belmont.  He uses
a refrigerated mixer instead of ice and rock salt.  The most
obvious difference is that Rancatore's ice cream is velvet-like
and Tosci's is a little chunky in texture.  The flavors are
comparatively subdued for the rather whitebread clientelle of
Belmont (whereat the John Birch Society was founded), no surprise.
 


uploaded 12/26/98. last magically modified on 6/20/99